Once More for 2023
If i’m being honest, I had every intention of continuing to write beyond the saga that was the 30 Till 30 Series (a chronicle for which Joey will take credit in the comments [Yes, this is a trap]). But life does as it wishes—it gets in the way, pushing you down different paths and up hills and beyond your own personal boundaries. What gets left behind gets left behind. That said, it seems fitting to look back and see where I've been and, more importantly, where I want to go in the future.
Original, I know.
The Dawn of Thirty
I suppose turning thirty was the first milestone this year. The age at which life makes sense, less fucks are given, and more bones begin to creak. I can confirm that, at the early days of this decade, life still doesn’t make sense and a moderate amount of fucks are still being given but, yes, my bones have begun to creak. One out of three ain’t bad. I can already hear the elder generations screaming at their screens, “Give it time, kid! GIVE IT TIME.” And to that I say, “I can’t hear you, you’re screaming at a monitor.”
The best way I can describe the first year of my thirties is that they’re like growing pains. I saw them coming a mile away and while I braced for impact with all my might, I have still been crumbling beneath the aches and adjustments all year long. New outlooks, new people in my life, new job, new everything. Your peers prepare you for what to feel and grow into, but they never prepare you on how to deal with the side effects.
That’s just life, I guess.
New Year, New Job
Back in 2020, I swore to never work at an agency again. I broke that promise. There was something about this milestone that felt momentous for so many reasons. For one, it was a choice I was able to make for myself. While I’m still early in my career, I’ve never had the opportunity to voluntarily leave a job for greater ones. The last agency I was at, which will remain anonymous, laid me off before I even had the chance to tell them where they could stick it (up their ass). And so, it took a lot of effort to rectify with the fact that I was grateful to be employed with an amazing group of communicators and digital experts, and at the same time, I was worthy of new work, new gains, and a new environment. On paper, it seems easy, but my mind doesn’t do “easy.” Instead, it weaves a complicated tapestry of tangents and rabbit holes, through which I find my anxiety. So far, I am four months in and feeling good about my decision, despite the typical trappings of agency life (e.g. family mentality, odd hours, and clients who never know what they want).
Am I already trying to plot my next course beyond this? Maybe so.
Love & Friendship
I never knew how deep relationships could go. And not just the ones between significant others but those we have with everybody around us—friends, chosen family, coworkers, neighbors, baristas, etc. This year, I’ve begun to learn that there is no one way to love someone and that love is not an all-encompassing language. It’s specific and catered and unique to each and every person. After realizing that, I’ve been in a relationship with a man I can trust, I am friends with people I would die for (metaphorically), and I’ve continued to create a community in which I can thrive and unapologetically be myself.
I never thought I’d be here. I had hoped to be, but it always felt like a farfetched dream. A reality that was never mine to live, but one to strive towards.
Oh, how things have changed.
In Conclusion…
I am glad that this year is ending. While it had a lot in store for me and has made my life so vibrant and unique, I feel ready for something new. I feel ready for change. I feel ready for a challenge. I don’t know that I’d handle with the same amount of “grace” and “decorum” as I did with this one, but I can promise to try, though, I don’t expect anybody to hold me to that because life is never easy—but that’s the point.
